THE PAIN OF MONDAYS

I'm in agony with my left shoulder today. I fell off my bike on 20th Feb, and the pain has been growing steadily ever since. I'm making an appointment for Bowens Therapy, and I'm going to see my doctor today if possible. I cannot get comfortable at all, and no amount of stretching and flexing seems to make any difference.

IT'S THURSDAY

and a lacklustre day, weatherwise. Neither cold nor hot, completely overcast. I have cycled round town a couple of times on various shopsearches, but I'm finding the supermarkets stressful, particularly Tesco, which is currently undergoing a refit, and is pretty chaotic. It's much bigger than it was, but one wonders what they are filling the empty space with - there seems to be a much larger selection of toiletries and not much else.
Woolworths is as cramped as always, but the staff are always friendly there, which helps.
Asda is horrible, full stop. I'm missing Lidl, which is closed for a month for expansion.
My left shoulder is hurting more than it was, probably due to yesterday's tumble, but if that's the only injury I'm happy with that.

MR TUMBLE

I fell off my bike yesterday. In broad daylight. In front of the house. Quite spectacularly, in slow motion (or at least it felt like it). I was riding fairly slowly, coming up the ramp onto the walkway in front of our row of houses, where I have to do a quite tight U-turn, and somehow my bike stopped dead in the middle of the turn and just keeled over. I tried to grab the railings but my hand went straight through, as I continued to move forwards, so my arm got twisted, my head collided with the railings just above my right temple, my knees and shins took a bit of a battering and my already aching shoulder is now ten times worse. The bike, which landed on top of me, is OK. I blame the new wheels, naturally. There is no room for human error, not on my bike.
I was annoyed by a variety of things - I had been to the surgery to collect a repeat prescription (which was a day late), and at the same time order a duplicate sicknote for the one I'd lost. The receptionist was very snotty about it; "You lost it? Well, all I can do is ask the doctor if he would mind providing another, and it will be ready in, er, a day or so..." I almost expected a lecture on being more careful in future, and perhaps a few hundred lines to ensure it's not going to happen again. I did try to point out that had the doctor managed to sign the damn sicknote in the first place then none of this would have happened, but she was strictly old-school, and completely imperturbable.
The front wheel was jammed after the accident, but it had simply shifted slightly and wedged a brakeblock against the tyre; easily sorted this morning.
I'm (quite literally) painfully aware that my reflexes are not what they were; even if they are, I sometimes cannot perform the actions they require. Had I been able to shift my balance slightly in the opposite direction, I might have easily avoided the fall, but all I could do was sit there and feel myself go. Not a nice feeling.

NEW MORNINGS

I'm trying to get the hang of mornings. They're not something I've had much truck with over the years, and in fact during my tenure at the Attik, they ceased to exist completely. At the moment I'm getting up somewhere between Seven and Eight am. Jasmine and Dylan, the older two, go off to school around 8am for Breakfast Club, so it helps matters if I can be awake enough to supervise the twins while Angie takes them, then comes back. The alternative is for her to take them all, then go to the park with the twins till they're allowed in school at 8.50, and at the moment it's just too cold to do that.
It's an intense time. The kids are excited and hyper, Angie is usally storming round swearing under her breath for no reason or shouting at the top of her voice, and I'm trying to wake up gently.
Once they've gone it's a big relief, and I like to check my emails over breakfast.
I've started getting back into the breadmaking routine, so first thing is to sort out the dough for the day. I'm buying a food processor this weekend which will speed the process up slightly, and a large breadbin for storage.
At the moment, stews and casseroles are favourite for dinner, so I like to get those ready and in the oven before lunchtime, which leaves me free until 3pm. I like to listen to Radio 6 Music in the kitchen, as they play some good music, but the presenters are starting to grate on my nerves somewhat.

The kids are back at school today after half-term. It's nice to have the house to myself, but it was a good holiday, all in all, with Dylan in particular doing lots of cycling, and all of us doing lots of walking.
I've had a visit from a manager, which will now be a monthly occurrence. My sicknote is unsigned by my doctor, which I noticed last week, but I thought I'd wait to see if they noticed.
The weather is excellent - bright sunshine, but very cold.
Medicinally, I'm up to full dosage on the antidepressant (Cipralex), and down to one Merbentyl a day. I'm unconvinced about the cipralex, but I'll give it time to prove me wrong if it can.

NEWS AT LAST

Today I finally received a letter from the sister of a close friend who passed away last summer. I went to the funeral in Leicester, which meant spending three days there, and actually had quite a nice time.
At the wake there was talk of a memorial gig for Jim, which I knew I would not be attending. It was all a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, and I felt quite isolated out here when it was all over.
I can appreciate the difficulty she had, with so much to do besides grieving, but I was waiting to hear what had been decided about Jim's collection of cameras, as I had volunteered to take them if no-one in the family wanted to do so. As time went on I convinced myself that someone somewhere had raised an objection (why on earth would they?), but didn't feel able to ask about them. I had already asked Ted if he'd be happy to bring them over here in the event, and he agreed readily.
I had sent and received a few supportive texts around New Year and the time of the gig, and she had said she would write.
Coincidentally (or was it?) Ted and I were just opening a dialogue on him coming to Pembrokeshire when the letter arrived, saying that the cameras were being looked after until a transportation solution could be sought (and that I could have one of his shirts if I wanted). The letter was quite emotional, and contained a poem written by Jim's father - very moving indeed.
She and her partner are currently holidaying in the USA, and who can blame them. This gives me time to compose a reply for their return.
It's all good, in a way.

SUNDAY MORNING KILLING THE BLUES

Two children have gone to church with their mother. The remaining two are currently playing rather noisily in the bath. All together they would have been unmanageable in church, and I didn't really feel like going anyway.
On Friday I had the older two while wife went to work and twins went to childminder. We'd decided we'd go cycling, and went up to the park, where we rode around and did a few manoevres, then we rode up the cyclepath to the top road, which is quite a feat for the young ones. Jasmine was particularly impressive at uphill grinding.
I was delighted with how good they were the whole day, and what delightful company they were the whole time, despite the weather being pretty oppressive.
On Saturday, with glorious sunshine streaming in through every window, we had to go out, and I took three of them to feed the ducks and swans and seagulls at Pembroke Millpond. Another excellent outing.

FOGGY DAY

Very dull. managed again to wake myself earlyish, but getting out of bed was another matter. Good job I did as radio 6 phoned about 9.30 to check that I'd be OK to chat about my requested lost record (Say It Ain't So Joe, by Murray Head) in the afternoon. That kind of set me up for the day and galvanised my thoughts, so I got the shopping and chores done in good time, and sorted out the dough from last night's sponge. Fish and chips for tea tonight.
The radio conversation went on a bit - managed to get in mentions for Richard Hawley and Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, who have excellent CDs out right now, and also the French/Canadian animation Belleville Rendezvous as my favourite "film without stars".
A bit of email banter with Ted in Leicester, which is always good.
Feeling very down-home today. A bit hazy, probably because I remembered to take my medication. Hard to marshall thoughts into coherence.

RAINING ON MY PARADE

The weather finally lured me outside - I decided I'd do the shopping quickly, then see how much time was left before the kids came home, and have a ride to coincide. Only I got a puncture. The second this week. Back tyre again. Bontrager tyres are shit. So, I couldn't go anywhere after all, and ended up just bumbling around the kitchen all afternoon instead of getting lots of that lovely fresh sundrenched air. Arse.

INTRUSION

It was hard to wake up this morning but I managed it, though not at 7.30 when my alarm went off. My intentions were good but I hadn't got to sleep till after 2am.
It's a glorious morning, bright sunshine and no noticeable wind, and I'm hankering to get out on my bike for a good ride. There are things need doing at home but it seems too good an opportunity to miss.
My mood was buoyant until I received an email from work asking how I'm doing, when it plummeted like half a digestive into a mug of coffee. I replied that I'm fine until I think about work, but I doubt they'll get the point. How blatant do I have to be? Ask them to sack me?
They're trying to handle the situation sensitively, but a bull in a china shop would have more grace and finesse.
I started writing last night. It was quite easy, but where I started (The Writers Group) only served to remind me that I've encountered hostility and confrontation just about everywhere since I moved to this God forsaken place; at home with the neighbours (on both sides) - at work, at the writers' group, on public transport, at the pub. I therefore conclude that it has to be me.
Heard from Dave that my friend Patryck died and was buried a week or so ago. Nice of the folks at the pub to let me know. Ah well.

WEEKEND WORK

On Saturday, while the family took the bus to Haverfordwest for some shopping, I went out to photograph the spots along the cyclepath which are in need of attention. It was too cold to linger anywhere, but I got the job done, and was pleased to see so many people using the Brunel Cycle trail, though there were a few too many dogs without leads for my liking. I have sent them off to the council, so my task is complete.
On Sunday we managed to get quite a bit sorted out in the kitchen, which was becoming badly overcrowded, so all in all a fairly useful and productive weekend, though we didn't make it to church on Sunday Morning.
Monday is cold. I woke up and got up about 7.30 am so was able to see the kids before school. I will try and maintain this regime.

COMPETITION WINNER

I remember dreaming I was in pain.
Despite the relative clarity of the sky this morning, I had already decided I was taking the bus to Haverfordwest for my meeting with the Pembrokeshire Horseriding, Walking and Cycling Officer. Having failed to meet him yesterday I was not letting anything get in the way today. Despite harsh temperatures it was a delightfully sunny day. Another good meeting - it's hard to get words in edgewise, the guy is so enthusiastic, but I managed to get a few points across, and the whole thing was amicable and productive.
I had time for a brief shopping spree, and as it was a farmer's market I stocked up on edibles for the weekend, and treated us to a new electric coffee grinder. Thought about getting some new shoes in the Clarks sale, but the ones I liked weren't sufficiently reduced.
Caught the bus back home, and remarkably, both journeys were pleasant and hassle-free.
When I got home there was an email awaiting me from Big Issue North, saying I'd won the photographic competition! (click on the headline to see the winning photograph, subject "New Year Resolutions". I can't even remember what the prize is! It really did give me a boost in every direction. I've committed myself to a few meetings and days out to do with cycling, and haven't given work a second thought. Till now.