My memory seems to be as substantial as tissuepaper in the rain. I completely forgot that today was the diiner at the nursing home of one of the ladies on the Expert Patient Program, and one of the organisers has just phoned me to check. I am so disappointed in myself, and feel I have let everbody down, especially S, who is a quite remarkable person. She's in a wheelchair following a stroke, and has hardly any movement down her left side, but is determined she will one day walk again. In the group sessions I found her a source of constant inspiration.
I'm so wrapped up in all the dark stuff going on I'm losing sight of what really matters, and this is one of the reasons I went on the sick in the first place - the office is so soul-destroying and energy-sapping that it leaves me with no resources for anything else other than gazing at the telly or swilling beer.
Little brother sent me a text just now asking for brothers' addresses (and ours) - unless I write it down now, he's got no chance. I'm a bit pissed off at how needy he gets at times, but he's always been that way, and always will be. It would be nice if I could rely on him for once, but that's hardly likely. See? I went into the kitchen to write a note, and instead of doing that I had some shepherd's pie and came back with a bag of crisps, no note written! I'm pathetic! It is a real worry, hence the referral to the memory clinic, but I wouldn't be surprised if I "don't fit the criteria" as with the colonoscopy which never happened (can't say I'm disappointed though!)
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