TUESDAY

Yesterday I had a formal meeting with management about my grievance. Obviously I can't say much without breaching confidentiality, but it went as well as it could have. Now is the long wait until the next stage. My manager is pushing this through as fast as he can, which I appreciate, but the red tape is there in abundance at every corner like cassettes flung from cars, and it feels like progress is as slow as possible.
I could do with finding out before tomorrow if MK has been informed. Tomorrow is the meeting in Carmarthen which is beginning to feel like High Noon.
While I am happy with the level of support I am getting from everyone concerned, I am still not coping well with the stress of it all. I need to keep myself distracted or my mind comes back to the same old scenario that he's going to walk away from this completely unscathed, which is of course the worst-case scenario. It is dominating the shape and texture of each and every day at the moment. I am making bread daily, which provides another focus for the day, and I am forcing myself to be "sociable". I have taken on the role of Sustrans Liaison Ranger for Pembrokeshire, and through that attended an office party in Swansea last Friday. I have to say that for the most part I felt very awkward and wanted to run for the door, but I hung in there and things did get better as the crowd thinned out, and I got to talk to the relevant people. I've also been emailing the other rangers with some positive response, and we're now organising a ride and dinner for the end of January.